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Homer and chef pee pee episode 1: Transcript
This is a transcript for the episode. The episode info is here. *Homer and Chef Pee Pee walking down the street* Chef Pee Pee: Oh God damn, homer. Why do we have to go to Good Days? Homer: Because Good Days is the best! ah! I want it, Chef Pee Pee. Chef Pee Pee. Chef Pee Pee. I want it. Chef Pee Pee: What?! Homer: I want Good Days! Chef Pee Pee: Well shut your damn mouth and maybe we'll go! Homer: OK, I'll be quiet. Chef Pee Pee: *sarcastic* We'll see how long that lasts. Homer: Boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy- Chef Pee Pee: Homer! Let's play a game. It's called the quiet game. We'll see how long you can be quiet. Homer: Aright, I got this, Chef Pee Pee. *Good Days is in the distance.* Homer: Oh my God, it's Good Days! Chef Pee Pee: Homer! Guess what?! You lost! you lost! you lost the game. game over! Homer: No, I didn't- Chef Pee Pee: You lost your trophy. Homer: I got a trophy?! Chef Pee Pee: You were gonna get a trophy. Homer: Who gets the trophy? Chef Pee Pee: Nobody! Homer: So, but shouldn't you get the trophy 'cause you won? Chef Pee Pee: No. Homer: Well, I'm gonna get you a trophy, Chef Pee Pee, 'cause you're really good. Chef Pee Pee: Well, you just lost, so... Homer: Chef Pee Pee, come on. We gotta cross the street, Chef Pee Pee. I see Good Days! Chef Pee Pee: Oh my freaking God, shut up. Homer: I scream, you scream, we all scream for Good Days! Good Days, Good Days, Good Days! Chef Pee Pee: Jesus Christ, kill me. Homer: Good Days, Good Days, Good Days! *Soon at the entrance area* Chef Pee Pee: OK, Homer, We're here. Homer: *blubbering* But I lost the quiet game! I don't deserve this! *Whines* Chef Pee Pee: Oh my God, Homer. Who cares if you lost the quiet game? Homer: Because it's a BIG TITLE if you win! You go to the quiet game championships! Chef Pee Pee: Give the the twenty so I can order! *Homer gives Chef Pee Pee the money* Homer: Chef Pee Pee, I want to order. Chef Pee Pee: Fine. *Gives the money back* Homer: Uh-I have stage fright. Chef Pee Pee: You just said you'd- you'd wanted to do it- Homer: I'm gonna prove you wrong! I'm gonna do this! *giggles* *at the register* Homer: May I please have-uh- two grilled cheeses and fries? *Short conversation with cashier, then Homer returns to the outdoor eating area where Chef Pee Pee was sitting* Chef Pee Pee: So homer, how was it? Homer: It-It was- It was- It was- It was- It was- It was- *Homer faints* Chef Pee Pee: Homer? Homer? Please wake up! If-If-If I wasn't gonna lose my job, I wouldn't care, but Homer. Homer! ...I'm gonna have to run away. Homer: Hold up Chef Pee Pee! I'm alive! April fool's! Chef Pee Pee: It's not even April. Did you get the food? *homer faints while Chef Pee Pee asks this, and Chef Pee Pee puts his face down on the table* Homer: Chef Pee Pee, I'm alive again. I tricked you again! *Homer bumps Chef Pee Pee, who drops some of the money on the floor* Chef Pee Pee: Oh my God, Homer, I dropped the money. *Homer drops some change on the floor* Chef Pee Pee: Homer stop putting it on the floor! Homer: Go get the money! Chef Pee Pee: I'm not getting that! Homer: *silly voice* You're gonna get it, and you're gonna like it! Chef Pee Pee: You're grounded! *Homer hits Chef Pee Pee* Chef Pee Pee: *Shocked* Homer! Homer: I'm sorry. Please forgive me! Chef Pee Pee: I will, but as long as you get the money. Go. Homer: I'm going, I'm going! Chef Pee Pee: *shakes head* What the hell?* Homer: I can do it! Chef Pee Pee: Homer, now remember; the exact amount is five dollars and fifty five cents. Homer: I got this, Chef Pee Pee. You don't have to worry about the "Mathematician"! Chef Pee Pee: *sarcastic* Oh yeah, you're a big mathematician alright. Homer: Thank you, I know. *On the floor* Homer: Alright, here we-Oh! *Homer sees a five dollar bill* Homer: Boy. What is this? I think this is some of it. Okay. Chef Pee Pee: Homer, that's a five dollar bill. Homer: It's fine, I got this. Where's the other one? Where's the change?? Chef Pee Pee: *unamused* Right there. Homer: There it is. Chef Pee Pee, you don't need to help me! Alright, let me count how much I have so far. *On the table.* Homer: Alright, five...and five...equals...I got it. Fifty five dollars. We're good. I got all the money, Chef Pee Pee. Chef Pee Pee: That's not fifty five, that's only ten! Homer: *silly voice* I got this, Chef Pee Pee! I'll get the rest of it! No problemo! *Inside restaurant* Blizzard: Oh boy, nothing beats a meal at Good Days! *Sees Homer and Chef Pee Pee fighting outside* Blizzard: I think I'll stay in here for a few more minutes. *Sees them fight more* Blizzard: Yeah, I'm staying inside. *Back outside, Homer bring the food in a bag.* Homer: Chef Pee Pee, I got the fooood!~ Chef Pee Pee: Oh boy, I can't wait. *At home* Chef Pee Pee: Ah, that was a good meal. Wasn't it, Homer? Homer: It was terrible! I will never eat at Good Days again! Chef Pee Pee: Homer, you're always begging for Good Days! Homer: Well, this time it was terrible! Chef Pee Pee: Homer, you ate the entire thing. How is it horrible? Homer: I want a refund! Make me something else! Chef Pee Pee: No. Homer: Yes. Chef Pee Pee: Okay, I'll make you something else. Homer: Okay, Chef Pee Pee, you do that. Stupid food! *Homer pushes the box and it falls into a trash can* Homer: Yeah, that's right. Fall, stupid idiot! *Chef Pee Pee at the fridge* Chef Pee Pee: Okay, Homer wants some food. Alright. Let's see here. *Chef Pee Pee sings to himself as he pulls out a container of butter and a spoon* Homer: *gasps* Food Is-! Chef Pee Pee: Open wide! Homer: here comes the airplane! Chef Pee Pee: Here it comes- Homer: Say it! Chef Pee Pee: Here comes the airplane. *Chef Pee Pee splats the spoonful of butter onto Homer* Homer: *giggles* *after it's mostly eaten* Homer: Chef Pee Pee, I couldn't eat another bite, i already got *giggles* so much! Chef Pee Pee: *puts spoon away* Okay, you're full. Homer: Chef Pee Pee, don't give me any more! Chef Pee Pee: *putting the butter away* Alright, i'm not going to. Homer: I want one more bite! No, I want one more bite! Hey look, some butter! * eats a bit off the counter* Chef Pee Pee: You got one more bite? Homer: Chef Pee Pee, I'm going into a food coma! Chef Pee Pee: No, don't-! *Homer faints into the butter container* Chef Pee Pee *pulls him out* God damn it. *Chef pee pee puts the butter away* Chef Pee Pee: Time to go- *The scene abruptly changes to Homer coughing in bed* Chef Pee Pee: *sarcastic* Oh boy, I really hope you get well, Homer. Homer: Thank you, Chef Pee Pee. Chef Pee Pee: You're welcome. *Homer coughs loudly* Chef Pee Pee: *whispering* Please let him die please let him-Oh, people came to visit you! *Nick and little Woody enter the room.* Little Woody: Hey, Homer! *to nick* Hold my hand! Nick: Alright, Woody, we're just gonna pretend you're my wife. Little Woody: Okay. Nick: My wife didn't come. Little Woody: Why didn't she come? Nick: Because! She doesn't care about anyone but her hair, Woody! Homer: Ch-Chef Pee Pee, I'm gonna die. Hold my hand. Chef Pee Pee: *quietly* Okay, Homer. Homer: *weird noises* i'm dying, Chef Pee Pee. Give me a good bye kiss. Chef Pee Pee: No! *the heart rate monitor flatlines* *Chef Pee Pee sings and dances to celebrate Homer's death. Fortunately, Homer didn't actually die* Category:Transcripts Category:Homer and Chef Pee Pee Category:Episodes